Shirley's Share: Forgiveness is optional

Wow what a incredibly thought provoking topic!!
What stayed with me most is how wrong it felt to hear « you don’t need to forgive ». It is so drilled into us, I had only thought of it in that way. “You can forgive and still be angry” - this idea that you can not forgive and the majority of the time this doesn’t mean that you will be plotting a diabolical revenge of some sort was interesting.
This episode definitely made me think again about « Anger ». I had never thought about the fact that anger could in fact help us assess good and bad, holds us accountable morally, and also motivates us to be better/ to achieve the good above the bad. Reminded me of a In the Open conversation we had a few months back - around « What actually motivates us to act? Hope or outrage?» - those of you who attended that should listen to this podcast; it feeds into it nicely!

The conversation around forgiveness can be complicated. I do find it is important to integrate the safety information provided by a dynamic that calls for forgiveness. Forgiveness is not forgetting and anger can offer a critical protective function. I also see a differentiation between releasing resentment and absolution of guilt. Forgiveness works best for me as a release of resentment, while maintaining a need for accountability.