It's not what you say, it's how you say it

This episode made me smile - it’s light and will definitely have you think again without how you expressed yourself! It focuses on British English and I am sure most of what is discussed will be familiar to you, but for those of you who English isn’t your first language, you will find it enlightening! Here I was thinking when someone says “hello! how are you?”, they actually cared/ or at least expected a response, well apparently not! It made me think about how much of what we say is contextual and cultural.

https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/word-of-mouth/id869276405?i=1000728414585

I can't resist sharing with you the below, which is from Rory Sutherland's book "Alchemy: The Surprising Power of Ideas That Don't Make Sense".

💬 A quick note: replies can be easy to miss here, so feel free to add a new comment rather than replying directly. This isn’t a fast-fire space, it’s intentionally slower, and shaped for thoughtful engagement with the ideas themselves, rather than back-and-forth responses.

Sas

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Mar 4, 2026

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very funny, and very true

Diana

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Mar 11, 2026

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I love this!! We could say the same about other "categories" of people, like men/women; older/younger; and so many cultural idiosyncrasies as well. My partner grew up in the US, I am Canadian, and it has taken us years to fully "grock" some of these differences in our language, and even our cultures. For instance, apparently in his mind, if someone invites you for dinner at 6pm, they mean 6pm. In Canada, to show up exactly at 6pm is almost pushy. 10-15 minutes (actually more like 12. 15 is pushing it the other way!) is considered polite. We have had many a belly laugh over these things. But it is also a very real starting point for misunderstandings that can be divisive if not checked. Fascinating. Thanks for sharing this!

Jeanne

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Mar 16, 2026

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Diana, this is such a great example!! haha! It really shows how easily something that feels respectful in one culture (or even just for some people) can feel slightly off in another. Your dinner story actually made me think of something related I recently came across about the speed of communication. Apparently (I didn't know this), in some contexts, speaking quickly can come across as dismissive or rushed, whereas speaking more slowly can signal generosity of attention. As someone who naturally speaks quite fast (usually thinking I’m being efficient and respectful of people’s time!), it made me wonder how often I may have offended people without even realising! Do you think the pace at which someone speaks changes how you perceive them? That would make a good conversation starter!!

Diana

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Mar 17, 2026

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Interesting!! I have never thought of it that way and yet I have a couple of friends who do speak more slowly than most and it actually calms me to talk with them. And I feel like what they say is more intentional almost. I've never identified it that way before or put my finger on it but I think it does make a difference. I know when I'm talking quickly often I'm kind of fried or frantic inside my own head. Not always in a bad way, I can be excited too, but taking a breath and slowing down does help to center me and therefore I think I am a better listener when I do that.
I'm going to experiment with this over the next few days. 🤔🙂

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