Three questions to Sushil

Before we dive in Sushil, tell us a little bit about yourself!

Originally from India; I’ve called San Diego home since 1995. Up at the crack of dawn like a rooster, but refrain from crowing lest I wake up fellow housemates and neighbors. Endlessly curious about the human mind and what makes people think, feel, and act the way they do. On a never-ending quest to understand people but barely scratched the surface of this fascinating topic. Nothing inspires me or energizes me more than meeting and connecting with people at a deeper level. I also have too many interests and typically, my 10 fingers are stuck in at least 16 pies at the same time.

What is something you’ve changed your mind about recently? 

Until recently, I firmly believed that doing good would bring good in return. It seemed like a simple principle to live by, one that made the world feel fair and predictable. I thought that treating others with kindness, honesty, and courtesy would naturally lead them to treat us the same way. Lately, however, I have begun to see that life does not always work that way. Virtue is not always rewarded with virtue. People who act with goodwill can be taken advantage of, denied what they deserve, or dismissed as naïve. This has been a painful realization but accepting it as part of life is helping me live my life without bitterness or resentment.. 

Who is someone you admire and why? 

About fifteen years ago, I first read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. I admired the book deeply, but I admired the person behind it even more. As I learned more about Marcus Aurelius’s life and philosophy, my respect for him only grew. He stays the person I admire most.

Marcus ruled Rome from 161 to 180 CE, a period marked by war, plague, and political upheaval. What I admire most is how judiciously and astutely he carried out his duties as the emperor. His philosophy in life was simple: control what you can, accept what you can’t, and meet every situation with patience and fortitude. His private journal, Meditations, reveals a leader who constantly examined his own character, questioned his impulses, and tried to live with integrity even while carrying the enormous responsibility of running a nation. Marcus Aurelius shows me that strength doesn’t have to be loud or dramatic - it can be quiet, steady, and rooted in self‑discipline. That’s the kind of strength I want to cultivate in my own life. 

If you had to give a TED talk tomorrow, what topic would you choose and why?    

The title of my talk would be - Every Person Matters: The Need for Universal Respect

The Idea. I strongly believe every person deserves to be treated with respect and dignity, regardless of ethnicity, social status, occupation, background, appearance, or any other factor. This respect should not be conditional. It should apply to every person, every time, without exception. When practiced consistently, this simple habit can become one of the most powerful and effective forces for positive change. It will strengthen trust, improve relationships, and help create a more humane society. Just as importantly, treating others well will also positively change us. It will make us more grounded, more compassionate, and more at peace with the way we move through the world.

The Problem

We live in a world that is becoming highly polarized. The divisions in society are not being primarily caused by politics or institutions but often stem from how we assess the respect someone deserves based on their appearance, occupation, background, or success. These judgments may appear minor, but over time, they influence our behavior. We become warmer toward certain people and distant toward others, more tolerant with some and less understanding with others. Courtesy and basic human dignity have become conditional, distributed based on perceived status, appearance, and worth rather than offered equally to everyone.

The Solution

The solution begins with a simple but powerful choice: treat every person with respect and do so unconditionally and without bias. Respect should not be a reward we give only to those who impress us or agree with us; it should be the starting point for how we meet every human being. Courtesy softens conflict, dignity opens conversation, and small acts of respect can turn strangers into friends, coworkers into collaborators, and divided communities into more humane ones. 

If you could change one policy or norm in society, what would it be and why?

If I could change one norm in society, I would encourage a healthier and more balanced attitude towards human sexuality. Lately, sex and sexuality have become taboo subject and people have begun equating it with something to be ashamed of, as vulgar, as unnecessary, and as immoral! It is none of these. It is a basic human need that should be satisfied, just as we need to satisfy our hunger, sleep, and emotional connections.

I am not advocating for unrestrained or reckless indulgence in meeting this need but approaching the matter with maturity and thoughtfulness. Just as we don’t eat everything we see, we also can’t act on every impulse. We make choices based on health, values, and respect — and sexuality should be approached the same manner. It is not something to fear or suppress, but something to understand and manage with maturity. A society that treats sexuality as a normal part of life, while still prioritizing consent, boundaries, and mutual respect, would be a society where people feel more grounded, more informed, and more at peace with themselves.

What’s something exciting you are working on?

Honestly, this is a tough one for me, because I’m never working on just one or two things. Like I say in my member’s bio, “typically, my 10 fingers are stuck in at least 16 pies at the same time.” We tend to work on things that excite us and there are just too many things that excite me. I blame my curious mind! But to answer your question, finishing writing my book on building effective relationships is what excites me most at this time. And to be honest, I am excited as well as ashamed. A book like this could be written in 4~6 months but I have been working on it for over 3 years, partly because my obsession with observing people keeps distracting me! I am intrigued and fascinated by the human mind and what makes us think the way we do, behave the way we do, and act the way we do. And when something gets my attention, I leave working on my book and start working on an article. Typically, it takes me about 6 months to write an article since I don’t just spit out my thoughts but research the subject thoroughly. The most difficult part of writing these articles is to subtly draw people’s attention to the various shortcomings that quietly shape our lives without sounding preachy or lecturing.Most of the articles are published on LinkedIn. If anyone wants to read them, they can be accessed here. Occasionally, I also write poems. The poems and articles not appropriate for LinkedIn are published on Medium.com. Unfortunately, Medium.com articles are behind a paywall and membership is required to view content whereas LinkedIn does not require even an account to access the articles. If anyone is interested in reading my articles and poems on Medium.com, I can give them a link to bypass the paywall.